I am flying back after a memorable four days with my family and the love of my life Stephanie Wei Li Cheng. We came together in Florida at this time because of the passing of my grandmother Catherine Berns Snyder. My grandmother passed away on August 10th, which also happens to be my mother's birthday and also my grandfather's birthday. How serendipitous the timing, and I am sure that my grandfather was calling his wife to him this after being separated for the last 25 years. I know this is one of his most treasured birthday gifts. We had a memorial service last Friday afternoon at my grandmother's retirement community Cypress Village to commemorate the incredible life of my grandmother. The service was very music centric, just like my grandmother, and I am sure she was smiling that day listening to her daughter, granddaughter and musician friends performing her absolute favorite pieces. The Clair de Lune played by Bonita was particularly heart wrenching for me, because of all the memories I have of laying underneath the piano while my grandmother Debussy's works from memory. Music has such a powerful effect on me, transporting me to distinct moments in time and running my full gamut of emotions. One of my grandmother's greatest gifts to her family and the world will always be her music, and I am blessed to grow up in such a musical family.
I was so touched to share this very tender and special time with the love of my life Stephie and to show her my childhood home and my family. She fit so naturally into my immediate and extended family and was received with open arms and open hearts. I was so touched to observe all the connections she made with family members and the precious moments we shared alone with one another. She immediately recognized the sweetness and good heartedness of my brother and we had an amazing weight lifting session with him at the District. I will never forget Stephie and I sitting on his legs to provide resistance as he lifting his torso from the floor to kneeling position--quite the scene. She glowed when listening to my sister sing and was so appreciative of my sisters vocal talent. I will never forget laying under the piano with Stephie and listening to my mom play and sister sing Going Home, Pie Jesu, and Ave Maria. She immediately connected with my mom, Mama Bear, and I will always remember the late night transpersonal conversation we had about the healing power of music in patients, working with homeless populations, and all my mom's work with the program Body and Soul in local hospitals and hospices (bodyandsoul.org). I saw Stephie's face light up when we brought up the underserved. She welcomed the warm embrace of my father and had special conversations about medicine, family, spirituality, and life in general with him. He offered to be a fatherly figure in her life and welcomed to her to the Menke family with a big hug. We all welcomed the love of my life, my life partner and future wife to our home and what a perfect fit. Even my grandmothers wedding ring turned out to be exactly size five and fits perfectly on my love's ring finger. Stephie, you are my cinderella.
Stephie, watching our families unite around our love and sharing time and space with you was incredible. Whether we are on the west coast, in the midwest or on the east coast our love transcends all space and time and our relationship flourishes in all circumstances. The people around us this weekend welcomed our love and responded to us so positively just like every time we are together. It had extra meaning seeing neighbors I have known for years smile warmly while I kissed your hand, family members commenting on our deep mutual affection, and even strangers at Roys restaurant recognizing the love we have for each other and asking if we had just gotten married. Happy anniversary my love: the last fourth months have been the most incredible of my life.
Your expression overwhelms me with feelings of joy and contentment. I have always dreamt of a family that connected deeply and that had mutual respect and an outpouring of love for each other. I envisioned supporting each other so that we all could blossom more beautifully than we could without each other. Josh and Steph, you have exceeded my dreams of a close connection between parents and children. I am profoundly grateful for the times we have already had together and look forward to each and every meeting in the future. Josh, since the day you were born, my cup runneth over…..
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